i'm trying

i'm trying to be more social. no one believes that i'm shy when they meet me, because i'm always laughing or joking or goofing, something of the sort, but those are with friends, people i know. people i don't know, it takes a while for me to warm up to them. i've been practicing talking to people i don't know more, primarily people on site that i might be standing next to. it's tough to get started for me, but after a while, i get the knack. there is something i've noticed though. i'm always trying to keep the volley going, so i'm usually thinking ahead for another question while they are answering my last so there are no awkward pauses. in doing so, i realized, i'm not listening to them. i think it also might be that i'm excited that i'm actually talking, and it's not so painful. kinda something like the kid who excited he's riding his bike with out training wheels (but with dad holding on) only to look back and see dad far, far away, and then they fall down because he's not there (yeah, i think that's a good analogy). i mean, it LOOKS like i'm socializing, talking, etc., but i'm not doing very well on recall. i noticed that today when i was talking to someone on the turbine deck. i almost asked them a question i vividly recall asking them two days ago. i can't recall the answer though, because i'd moved on to the next question i should ask.

but this is good. it is good that i've noticed this so i can further expound on my social interaction skills. personal constructive criticism. i'm good at telling stories apparently. i like to make people laugh. so, if i've only recently met you, or met you only once, i apologize, i might not remember any of your answers, but next time, if you'll have a bit of patience in repeating yourself, i'll practice listening as well as talking.



**NOTE** : in spell checking this, i realized i used a lot of personal possessive pronouns. i apologize, i'll try to be more selfless next time i talk about myself.