Past The Velvet Rope
B-Town Boyz
Huffington Post
xkcd (webcomic)
Stile Project
Urban Dictionary

Powered by Blogger

27 April 2009

i'm no longer cultural ambassador to egypt

like i ever really was, but still, i think i cemented that several nights ago. TheMech came back to site to help with a small outage we had to do before we could make any more progress on the second unit. since TheSiteManager wasn't sure when i was coming back from R&R, he booked TheMech to come back and assist. i arrived early than TheSiteManager had expected, and thus, while TheMech was booked and ready for his flight, i'd completed the outage. not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, TheMech came to site anyways to see how things were going.

friday night, we did our normal KFC run. i tried to seriously order the entire menu since i'm so bad with decisions (they wouldn't let me), i arm wrestled the manager for $20 (and lost... i've handily lost to him before, so i'm not sure why i wanted a rematch). TheMech, being a former boxer, tried to win the $20 back by daring the manager to pop him in the jaw. so we left. the manager gave me my $20 back and i gave it to the taxi driver (for what is normally a $3-$4 fare).

saturday night, we went to the portuguese club to watch manchester united play tottingham. the taxi dropped us off on the corner, and as we were walking to the bar, i noted a beautiful-eyed muslim girl walking our way (dressed in the niqab like in the picture), and i said TheMech (apparently too loud), "dude, look... a ninja!". by the time i realized she was talking to me, i turned around and she was storming up to me, and all i heard was "...assholes, go back to wherever you came from!". i wasn't trying to be patently offensive, i actually thought i was being witty, but it wasn't taken that way. i apologized as she stormed off, though i don't think she heard me. i mean, if i was in a society of ninjas and i saw one looking rather niqab-y, i think i would've done the similar thing by pointing out the niqab-wearer; only if the ninja took offense, he's just deftly launch his arsenal of shurikens at me, pinning me to the wall, nun chuck the shit out of me, then throw a smoke bomb and disappear. i'd rather taken the verbal tongue-lashing. but i mean, seriously, look at that picture... that IS very ninja-esque. do a google image search for 'niqab', and that's the second one down. she looked almost exactly like that.

sunday, TheMech and i met for breakfast and over a brief conversation decided that we weren't really needed onsite, so we played hookie. we changed out of our work clothes into more golf-appropriate attire, er... at least as best we could. i wore an lube oil stained polo shirt (it was a work accident), brown AE cargo shorts, and white adidas tennis shoes. TheMech wasn't so fortunate, having only packed an overnight bag and not expecting to go golfing. he wore his pink ralph lauren chaps button down (he pulls it off well), tan swimming trunks he'd bought the day before, black socks, and brown leather loafers. we were on guard for the fashion police all day. we got the sporting club and through arduous pseudo-translation and broken egyptian that was finally confirmed by a passing female guest, we determined that security was telling us that the tournament finished yesterday. HAH!!! he thought we looked like we were in a golf tourney. after we cleared that up, we learned that all we had to do was pay an entrance fee. we paid, got our clubs, and we lucky enough to get our favorite regular caddies, TheHassan and TheMohamed. my driving game was on fire. TheHassan gave me some tips on straightening my leading arm which helped, but my irons were so-so, and my putting was way too strong. TheMech had some pretty bad drives but some really awesome recoveries despite being in the bunker most of the day. it was a fun outing if not a sub-100 shot outing. afterward, we had TheDriver take us to the pompey's pillar. after that, we went to the catacombs of kom es-shogafa. this was a really cool visit, as you can go down through the first three levels and almost get lost in the maze of off-shooting galleries. the bottom-most level is roped off since it actually lies below the water table. actually, some of the lower tombs on the third level even had water in them. after the catacombs, TheMech and i went to the pool to catch some rays. we both ended up getting a bit red.

TheMech and i tried to arrange a final dinner with TheSiteLead and TheSiteManager, but that fell through. TheSiteLead has since moved to cairo because 1) he'll be leaving site soon, and 2) there is more to do down there... maybe i should move too. TheSiteManager was onsite very late trying to get the electrical to fix some of their problems that could have significantly hurt the schedule. we then called TheYoungMechTA to see if he wanted to go, we tried a new restaurant he suggested which was OK, but nothing to write home about (i guess kinda though, i am). the atmosphere was nice, but the food was only 50/50. he then drove us all around to find a drink but the bars/discos don't really open until 11:30PM or so, and it was only 10:30PM so we had him take us back to the hotel. we popped into the bar for a going away drink. TheCoolBartender made us some gin and tonics, then halfway through the second one, he poured three nasty-ass concoctions. a shot of smirnoff black with a splash of grenadine and a splash of hot sauce. he said it was very popular among the russian ladies where he used to work in hurghada, and that it would make us appreciate our G&Ts all the more. boy was he right. that was a FOUL drink. we drunk dialed my mom twice, once so she could talk to TheMech, and then after that call, TheCoolBartender asked who that was, and when i told him he said he'd've like to have talked to her, so we called back. TheMech thanked him for being such an entertaining bartender and tipped him. TheCoolBartender insisted that for him to take the tip, we had to have a drink with him... so we did a tequila shot. maybe he's not such TheCoolBartender anymore.

so that is the end of my weekend, and that is why i'm no longer cultural attache in egypt.

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Ninja chick sounds spunky. Why didn't you ask her out on a date after she decried, "Asshole!"?

11:06 AM, April 27, 2009  
Blogger swedish chef dave said...

i did the cultural attache thing whilst in Ohio, i quietly shouting, "hey everybody that chick is a dude" at the bar one night and i then realised everyone in the bar heard me, i felt like an ass, but she did have a huge jaw.

I am going to work in pamplona for a month and who knows if i will ever get to Malabo



2:10 AM, May 01, 2009  

Post a Comment

<< Home