i believe i am "becoming"

I beat my machine it's a part of me it's inside of me
I'm stuck in this dream it's changing me i am becoming
The me that you know had some second thoughts
He's covered with scabs and he is broken and sore
The me that you know doesn't come around much
That part of me isn't here anymore
All pain disappears it's the nature of my circuitry
Drowns out all i hear there's no escape from this my new consciousness
That me that you know used to have feelings
But the blood has stopped pumping and he's left to decay
The me that you know is now made up of wires
And even when i'm right with you i'm so far away
I can try to get away but i've strapped myself in
I can try to scratch away the sound in my ears
I can see it killing away all my bad parts
I don't want to listen but it's all too clear
Hiding backwards inside of me i feel so unafraid
Annie, hold a little tighter i might just slip away
It won't give up it wants me dead
Goddamn this noise inside my head

--- nine inch nails "becoming"

i do feel that way. for a while now. i'll have more time in the coming weeks to get things here. i'm sorry i left you for so long. so many things to tell. more later.