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20 May 2006

8-ply without all the work

i was thinking, and this may be a bit personal for some of you, but hey, we're friends. when i do the #2 and i'm about to embark on my cleaning procedure, i roll out about 2-3' of toilet paper, i fold once, i fold twice, and now i have an 8-ply piece of TP, about 6-8" long, well long enough to protect my fingers, hand, and any innocent bystanders from any blowby.

so why? why i ask you is TP only 2-ply? i guess before i ask that i need to know more about your dingleberry dropping technique. some people ball it up, but that is just INSANELY inefficient. i suppose some people might risk the blowout of a 2-ply, that WOULD be paper-efficient though risqué. some people might go with one fold; therefore, you have 4-ply butt papyrus. there are probably some people that do some sort of origami that requires pre-planning and building codes, just because they like planning ahead of time and applying for building codes. so my point is, i think they should sell variations. 4-ply, 8-ply, even 16-ply for people like howie mandel and howard hughes (howard's are KEEEE-RAZY).

i can see it now. you wouldn't need toilet paper rolls anymore (i can see the toilet paper roll lobbyists' gears turning already); just a nice shelf with pre-fabricated sheets with perfumes and crosswords and sudokus printed on them... yeah, that one just came out of nowhere. it'd be so beautiful. i'm gonna be rich, and i know since we are friends, you won't steal my idea. thanks, i love you too.

look TheMom... 5 posts in one day, aren't you proud?


Blogger Mike T said...

You forgot about Howard Stern. Also has OCD.

10:25 AM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger themom said...

PROUD!?!?! i am bleary eyed from all the reading - and i will NOT get in the sex debate. (of course i always side with you.) but as for the TP!!!! please remember that waaaay back when people used corn cobs now isn't that repugnant??? and at one time the Sears, Roebuck catalogue was the answer in the outhouse, and you want me to debate,2-4-6-8 ply???


2:02 PM, May 20, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot believe I am replying to this.

I think the technique depends on if you are trying to protect your hand from wetness or if you want to have a corragated surface - kind of like a swiffer. I think that's what the ball up the TP people are going for - the ball is thick enough to protect you and you get a varied surface.

I think the magic answer is 16 ply -but with the ridges the new Cotonelle has. Sorry, you probably don't get to choose between Cottonelle and Charmin in India. Maybe one of us should mail you an assortment of all the new TP texture and softness technology advances in the last few years.

6:11 PM, May 22, 2006  

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