postcard from the depths

depending on my wildly variable state of mind lately, i go from "this feels good, fun, it's what i need, things will work out for the best... whatever that is" to "holy what the FUKK am i doing! i'm an idiot, this really, really, REALLY sucks, and i just want to go to sleep". mind you, my mind-state varies pretty much minute-to-minute. it is really exhausting, horribly frustrating, and generally makes me pretty easy to read due to fatigue. that sucks when people ask questions i don't want to answer.