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21 February 2009

R&R alpha - oktoberfest (day 4) - PROST!!!

long time, no post on oktoberfest. i can't believe this vacation ended over 4 months ago, and i'm only 4 days into the story. sorry, for a recap, check out oktoberfest - the beginning then onto oktoberfest (day 2) - PFAND!!! and completing the flashback with oktoberfest (day 3) - drucken!

now that you're caught up, back to the story. TheWayne's friend, TheTav, was coming in to visit us for a few days at oktoberfest. his flight got in in the afternoon, and TheWayne wanted to check out the olympic stadium and the BMW museum/office/whatever it was. TheWayne and i walked in a light drizzle to the train station and after a few transfers and about 40 minutes, we were at the olympic stadium. when you come out of the train station, one of the first things you see is the BMW building. it is shaped like 4 piston cylinders, as you can see from the photo. now, i'm not big into BMWs or mercedes', etc. they are just too luxury for me, i guess. i prefer trucks or super sports cars like the viper or bugatti veyron. i wasn't really excited to go to check it out, but hey, give and take. after entering the building, i changed my mind. they had so many cool interactive displays on their new and developing technologies. they are developing heads-up night vision displays, assisted steering in slippery conditions, hydrogen-powered cars, etc. it was really interesting to the engineer in me. PLUS, i like zombies and apparently BMW made the zombie motorcycle in resident evil : apocalypse.

after BMW, we walked around the olympic stadium, and by "walk around", i mean, "walk around". we couldn't find our damn way into the thing. we saw people walking around inside, but after a thorough walk-around, we'd made no progress. during our exploration, TheWayne brought up how italians are EVERYWHERE! anywhere you go, you can run into an italian... at oktoberfest, in the middle of the egyptian desert, etc., they are everywhere, and they dress funny. really tight pants, too-big glasses (usually white and/or incredibly festooned), and fauxhawks. oh, and during this whole time, it was raining. as i've said before, i came to germany from the hot, hotness of egypt, thus i had neither cold-weather clothes nor wet-weather clothes, so i did my best with my long sleeve shirt and short sleeve T-shirt. the munich olympic stadium looks pretty cool to me. it's kinda like a medieval castle of sorts with chainmail holding it all together, as you can see behind TheWayne giving his it's-cold-and-wet-and-i'll-strike-a-goofy-pose pic. there are random support towers growing out of the ground all over the place to support the chainmail roof-like covering. we ran into some italians who asked us how to get to oktoberfest and we were like "WHOA! you are in the wrong part of munich, get on the train, and ask your way from there". we decided it was time to go back and meet up with TheTav. he had flown in from the states and had directions as far as the train station in feldkirchen, so we were going to be meet him at the bar right just outside. we'd gotten there... maybe... a little bit late. had a few beers waiting for him, then decided to check to see if maybe he made it to the hotel on his own. we'd gotten back and found him there, crashed in TheWayne's room. nice of the hotel staff to let a complete stranger-to-them into one of our room's despite him NOT being on the additional guest list.

after being introduced, we went our separate ways to shower and clean up for the evening's stein-fueled adventures. we walked back to the train station and were soon on our way back to oktoberfest, day 4. we walked around and showed TheTav the general aura of oktoberfest. he, too, was not expecting the huge amusement park rides scattered throughout the fairgrounds. we grabbed a few beers along the way at the outdoor stands, and finally settled at an empty table in the middle of a crowd at augustiner braü. we settled into a hardcore re-enactment of TheWayne's first night in germany. we were going to get TheTav so drunk he'd forget he was jet-lagged (like TheWayne). here's the only (pseudo) sober picture i have of TheTav, sadly the picture is a bit blurry, though this was the LEAST blurry we were all night. the augustiner was fun. we drank in the dark and the cold, listening to the uproarious singing and dancing pouring out the oft-opened doors of the beer hall. we talking about politics (everyone loved talking about obama when they heard we were americans), american security, the internet, etc. a general hodgepodge of conversation. the conversations blurred into each other and at one point, a girl i'd seen at the end of our table came to sit next to me. we were talking, about what i have no clue. i'd totally forgot i was even talking to TheWayne and TheTav. if i do recall (and i'd think this is true because i never think girls like me), the girl was kinda hitting on me. vague remembrances of "where are you staying?" and "when are you leaving?" float around my head, even to this day, but before i could respond, i heard TheWayne beckoning me back to a temporary sobriety... "ZAC, we got go! NOW!" i looked up and TheWayne was doing his best to hold TheTav upright in the walkway that goes past the tables. i was saying goodbye to the girl, saying that i had to go help my friend, then looked up and realized TheWayne was gone.

apparently, TheTav needed to get out of the crowd faster than i was saying goodbye. i caught up to them further down the walk, and we put his arms over our shoulders and walked/dragged him through the crowd. we navigated through the crowd amazingly well for two drunk guys and a passed-out zombie. occasionally, he would swim to the surface of consciousness and try to walk on his own which didn't help, mumble something unintelligible probably loosely related to an apology, the pass back out. we stopped to try to get him something to drink and eat, get something in his stomach as he hadn't eaten all day, and what to we get? greasy german sausages, what else? we got what we wanted and he was going to get what he got... glorious käse kreiners. these actually became the staple of our meals at oktoberfest. a heavenly german sausage with pressurized (i believe this was an unfortunate side-effect) swiss cheese in the middle. several days later, TheTav got one, and the first bite shot molten cheese and grease on a lady passing by in the opposite direction, she didn't notice... i did, hah. back to the story, we fed him and gave him something to drink and were on our way. he was pretty good from theresienwiese (the oktoberfest stop) to karlsplatz station, where we had to make a transfer. he was basically dead to the world until then. TheWayne and i had a load of fun at his obliterated expense, as evidenced by these photos. while at karlsplatz, i told TheWayne i had to piss, i'd be RIGHT back. i followed the signs up two escalators towards the WC only to find they lied, there was no WC, or i'd totally missed it, either is a very plausible possibility. SHITE! i mean, i had to PISS! i'm wandering around the station like a mad man, trying to find a pisser to no avail. i decided to give up and go back and just hold it, though it would be near torture, until the next station. then, it happened... i couldn't find them. i went back down the two escalators i'd THOUGHT i'd originally gone up, but the tunnel was the wrong color. then i found another platform, the right color but none of the trains going to the right place, i was starting to get pissed off when i found a platform that was going to the right place, but was the wrong color. i started to think i was mis-remembering the color of the station and that those fukkers left me here. i ALMOST got on a train to go after them, but decided to try to keep my cool (remember, my bladder is getting stretch marks at this point). i was frantically doing the "i-gotta-piss" dance around a german train station, and by some miracle-of-miracles, i'd found TheWayne holding TheTav upright, just where'd i'd left them... 35 minutes ago. by this time, TheWayne was thinking i'd pissed and left him, so i took over caring for TheTav since TheWayne had informed me that he now had to piss like a racehorse. he said "I'LL be right back". by this time, the station was pretty empty, TheTav was pretty comatose, so he didn't require much attention, so i did what i had to do. i waited for the last people on the platform to get on the train, i leaned TheTav up against the wall next to the trash can, and i walked to the end of the platform. there i found a nearly empty trashcan just around the corner from the main platform so that i could theoretically relieve myself in the trash can if i had so needed while both remaining out of out of the main eye line of the platform and still being able to keep an eye on TheTav. well, i turned theory into practice that evening. i feel REALLY bad for what i did, for the person who was going to have to empty that can the next day, but i did what i had to do. the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and i chose that one person having to cleanup one pissy trash bag was better than an entire train having to witness me soaked in my own urine. after that low-point, i went back and made sure TheTav was breathing, aiming his head toward the trashcan he was definitely needing at the time, wondering WTF happened to the Wayne. as it turns out, he got lost as well, though i don't recall whether he found the WC or not. i just know it took him only 25 minutes to get back.

TheTav had been purging pretty much since we got to this station. during my scouting for a place to water the flowers, i'd noted a lot of McDonald's bags in the trash cans. this was the only way we were going to get TheTav home in a fairly civilized manner. i found the biggest McD's bag i could, we grabbed TheTav, and we jumped on the next train toward feldkirchen. we were the last people on the train so TheWayne and i let the doors close, then we pushed him up against the doors with the cool glass on his face. this served two purposes: 1) so TheWayne and i could press him into a corner to keep him standing, and 2) to segregate him and his retching from the rest of the passengers in the car. the McD's bag came in handy numerous times throughout the last leg of our venture home. we apologized several times to the other passengers, and i believe a lady even gave us an individual-sized package of pocket tissues for our friend. when we made it to feldkirchen, TheTav was starting to come back to life. he could ALMOST open his eyes, and in small spurts, he was able to walk in an approximation of a straight line. he would lift his head on occasion and spit out a funny impersonation of an irishman, a cockney, or a scot. it was generally entertaining as we stumbled through the last field with the hotel in site. we made the unexciting trip in the elevator to our rooms, and day 4 was complete.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus. Best. Post. Ever. LOL!!! God, those pictures are like a pirate's have no idea how priceless! Fabulous.

2:49 PM, February 21, 2009  
Blogger themom said...

I'm amazed you can remember that many details. Remember I know you. Looks like a great time - and the pictures...priceless!!


word verification: gastuble

sounds gross.

8:47 PM, February 21, 2009  

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