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28 November 2005

your reading WHAT?!

ok, some of you might have to sit down for this one... so, ok, yeah, i'm reading the bible, and man is it a tough read. repetition, repetition, repetition. i just finished exodus and i think Home Depot should get a advertisement at the top. all about building the tabernacle, and drapes, and candles, and googly. there was the red sea crossing and egyptians getting their asses handed to them by neptune, er i mean, god. and there is some strange stuff. job's wife turning to a pillar of salt (and is that like a pillar pillar, or is there another definition?). abraham getting date-raped by his daughters (they got him drunk), come on, that is some weird shite. incestuous date-rape INITIATED by the daughters. i'm sure there are movies out there like that, but in THE BIBLE? and, yeah, i know the term 'sodomy' comes from sodom, but those guys were outright flagrant. we wanna KNOW you. and why isn't there some form of debauchery named after 'gomorrah'? apparently that was as bad a neighborhood as sodom.

it's slow. exodus hurt me with the whole building and offerings stuff, though we did get the 10 commandments in tablet form, TWICE (clumsy moses, and easily swayed aaron and people who made a golden cow). you start to think these people don't deserve saving. they are doing EVERYTHING in their power to piss god off, and he keeps giving them a mulligan. he's a jealous god too, that is funny. makes all these funny rules like no leavened bread during passover and if you don't eat all your food, you burn it before morning (the beginning of "clean your plate or no desert" -- instead it's "eat ALL your food or no salvation!"). anyone who works on the sabbath shall be put to death. who was the first rebel to try that one out? probably the first one to demand double time.

i'm just about to start leviticus tonight (it is my bathroom reading, but hey, at least i'm reading it). i here numbers is no fun, everyone begetting everyone else. i like porn but i don't think it's going to be THAT kinda begetting. more like knowing and lying with. and they already did a lot of that stuff in genesis. there is so much repetition in the bible. i'm wondering if they were schizo or OCD and just had to keep re-writing everything to make sure it was engrained in your head.... no, i know it. i've used this technique before in college. there was a word limit. there HAD to be. i mean, things have evolved since then and i had to re-phrase, paraphrase, translate into foreign languages to look "wordly", but back then, i mean, the written word was pretty new, i guess, so repeating the very same thing, each word, verbatim, over and over again, repetitively, tirelessly, day in / day out was chic and necessary to keep on the upper half of the bell curve. salvation, here i come.

enough of the blasphemy... i've finally gotten some update pictures of my nephew, colton. i miss him a ton. can't wait to go home but i gotta wait at least (see clock at the top right) days,hours, minutes, seconds until i can get there. then i'm gonna spoil the shite out of him. i'll owe him birthday presents and christmas presents and camping and time in the ball pit at burger king and gulla's and bike riding lessons... so here are some pix

good kid, he is. a good kid.


Blogger swedish chef dave said...


the bible is pure porn, they were full of that shite then, all sodomy and where do you think the word gonerrhea came from, it is that horribly spelt word, it was too big a word for those times to turn into gomorrary or gomorramy
just got to Lima dn still a nasty third world shithole but they had to give me business class to Florence as they booked it too late for the cheapo econo class, weeeheee loads of airmiles, speak to you from Florence

7:46 PM, November 28, 2005  

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