too much right now

just a few short hours ago, i streaked down my road, just for a ride to denny's. how fukked up is that? desperate? maybe. downward spiral? more than likely. i JUST checked my e-mail (5AM) and i have an offer to work in the central region. settle down, no international travel (i'm guessing). if only she had the same offer. so do i stay with my SHITE new division, or settle for boring domestic work in the good division... hmmmm. why can't life be simple, just for a bit?

i wrote jules forgetting that she gets fridays off in muslim-qatar. she replied and i hid the message from my eyes, move it to the "jules" box without seeing her reply... i need a good sleep before i read the answer to the question i asked. i shouldn't've asked it.

i had good talks with some good friends tonight. they gave some good advice but still, it advice from people who aren't single anymore. strange how i can go from near top of the heap to smothered at the bottom so quickly. i'll read my e-mail tomorrow, then maybe i'll write some more.

send me good thoughts, i don't sleep well when i'm single.