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07 October 2007

i found a new website

the other day, i was wondering where all the witty linguists had gone. mark twain, friedrich nietzsche, oscar wilde, ben franklin, ambrose bierce... these were men of a different age. men of the word rather than the electron who wrote with pen and ink, rather than laptops and scribble-recognition PDAs. they read, the created, they were renaissance men, if you will. i read their quotes, and i'm inspired by their insight. they cut through and clarify complicated AND everyday matters with, oftentimes, brutal poignancy. i'm in awe. i want to know where those people have gone. you don't hear those kinds of lines anymore. has it been destroyed by the pace of this technological flood we are caught in. don't get me wrong, i love technology and where it can take us, but i hope to not have lost the wit and honesty those men had.

i may have gone astray there, but i dare say, i MAY have found a pseudo-last-bastion of said wordsmiths. ironically, they are in internet chatrooms, IRC, and online forums. the website i spoke of is called the quotes database, qdb.us. some may call these people smart-asses, some ARE downright idiotic, but i've found a few golden quotes scanning through their archives that have given me great pleasure of late. these people may not be innovators, writers, etc., like the former group i'd mentioned, but they do have the wit, the brutal honesty, and i appreciate the belly-laughs they've given me the past few nights. check it out, and to start, here are a few quotes that got me laughing.

  • <ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers

  • <Miraculous> does anyone know anything about routers?
    <Rukus+> the most important advice i can give you
    <Rukus+> do NOT rip it out of the wall when drunk and say you have defeated the matrix

  • <CTho> i really think NOAA should have called "National Weather Service" "Atmospheric Research Center" instead.
    <CTho > then, you could get your weather forecasts from NOAA's ARC

  • Invisceo: If i don't get at least a 175 on the LSAT, i'll have to fly to NY and jump off the Empire State Building
    Styling Dan: dude, jump off the world trade towers
    Styling Dan: they are much higher
    Kazooie197: Not anymore :|
    Styling Dan: what?
    Styling Dan: yeah, Im pretty sure they are the tallest building in new york
    Invisceo: dude, where have YOU been?
    Styling Dan: what?
    Kazooie197: I'm probably taller than the remaining rubble
    Styling Dan: what do you mean
    Styling Dan: rubble!??1?
    Styling Dan: WHAT THE FUCK?!

  • <Turtles> I really wouldn't mind if an old lady took a dump on my chest.
    <Lovespuds> ...
    <Lovespuds> ...Dude.
    <Turtles> Er.
    <Turtles> That was the wrong window.
    <Lovespuds> Turtles, there is no such thing as the right window for that.

  • <titan-x> hey everybody
    <Lowkey> hey john, where the fuck you been?!
    <titan-x> i was in a wreck in my friends car. snow and ford explorers do not go well together
    <Lowkey> holy shit
    <titan-x> i got alot of morphine though
    <titan-x> apparently the first night they had me on the drip i managed to wriggle out of the restraints i had on because they noticed me acting weird after they put me on the morphine
    <titan-x> according to the nurse i spoke to, and accounts from my wife after she woke up, i was running up and down the halls, with the morphine IV still attached and the bag dragging behind me
    <titan-x> and as this was going on, she tells me i was yelling this:
    <titan-x> "THE COMMUNISTS HAVE CONTROL OF GRAND CENTRAL STATION AND THEY WILL BRING THE COMMIE TRAINS TO TOWN! WE MUST WARN THE MAYOR CHOO CHOO"
    <Lowkey> w..t..f
    <titan-x> that was kindof my reaction when she told me. i really cannot put my finger on that one.

i hope you enjoyed those snippets. if so, go check some more out. man, i should make MONEY for my references to awesome sites.

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2 Comments:

Blogger themom said...

so hilarious...you can converse like that i just know it!!!

12:57 PM, October 08, 2007  
Blogger B-Town V.J.G. J Ho said...

i call them cunning-linguists

9:21 PM, October 08, 2007  

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