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02 January 2006


i never realized it until people at work pointed it out to me, but i think i have a mild-to-moderate case of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). i guess i'd seen it creep up here and there, but dismissed it, but i've come to realize i have a sickness.

for some strange reason, when i get into an empty elevator with a mirror in it, i make a strange grimace to check my teeth in elevator mirror. it's a face only a mother could love. i know i've done it elsewhere, but it only recently occurred to me how much i've done it here in india. wtf is up with that?

another compulsion, one that i've outgrown, is spinning. when i was a kid, i'd keep a kinda running count of how many times i'd spun left or right, and before i went in the house, i had to spin whatever to direction to get my net spin down to zero (maybe i'm a quark). por ejemplo, if i was playing football or something, and spun left 3 times and right 7 times throughout the game to avoid defenders, before i went in the house, i had to spin left 4 times. it was like i was wrapped up in an imaginary rope or something that would've constricted me had i not unwrapped. i should've done more drugs.

a strange but not entirely unnerving OCD trait i have is when drinking, primarily at the bar. if i'm drinking a beer or whiskey with a coaster, when i set it down, i center it exactly on the coaster. circular coasters are easy, squares a little more difficult as you have top/bottom alignment along with left/right alignment. abnormally shaped coasters add a degree of difficulty whereas i have to estimate the center of mass for the coaster and there is no measurement, then i keep placing the bottle in the same place. if i don't have a coaster, i still have to set the drink down in it's sweatmark left on the bar.

this all leads to my most significant OCD issue... electronic organization. i NEED to be organized with my files, particularly my numerous files, like pictures, mp3s, porn. i want to know where it is and if i don't, i know i can search for it easily enough to find it in no time. i should be receiving my iPOD tomorrow, so for the past 3-4 days, any spare time i've had, i've thrown at renaming music i've gotten from the TAs onsite. my music needs to be in folder by artist, sub-foldered by album, then in each album the format needs to be - - . that's JUST the way it has to be. the leading zero is important for continuity. say you have a CD like the wall which has a storyline. you want to play it in order, you sort by name, and WITHOUT the leading zero, you'll get:
pink floyd - 1 - hey you
pink floyd - 10 - waiting for the worms
pink floyd - 11 - stop
pink floyd - 12 - the trial
pink floyd - 13 - outside the wall
pink floyd - 2 - is there anybody out there?
pink floyd - 3 - nobody home
pink floyd - 4 - vera
pink floyd - 5 - bring the boys back home
pink floyd - 6 - comfortably numb
pink floyd - 7 - the show must go on
pink floyd - 8 - in the flesh
pink floyd - 9 - run like hell
do you see the havoc that can wreak? the entire meaning of the CD is lost. there used to be a day back with vinyl and cassette tapes when such sacrilege was impossible, but technology has tampered with that beautiful order with "random access" *GASP*. either way, i need my leading zeros.

also, with photos, i need to rename them. the names are basically keywords or tags and i sort them into their correct folder. this makes it easier to find what i need when my friends won't believe that i was drugged and "violated" by a spanish tranny with hairlip in front of a turkish bathhouse. i just look up 'hairlip' or 'bathhouse' and BLAM-O!, there i am in all my glory. much easier than chasing down DSCN-whatever-the-fukk-the-number-was.

porn, the core of what molded my ethics and morals throughout college due to the beauty of a free, school-sponsored T1 connection, is also privy to this type of organization. nothing illegal or gross now. i've seen a lot and there is some stuff i just don't get (scat? come on!) but the stuff i do like and keep is as meticulously organized. if i know one of the actresses names, it gets named and goes into the folder of what the video clip is primarily based on (BJs, orgies, anal, etc.). if i have enough of one actress(or actor, in the case of rocco sifriedi), (s)he gets her own folder. then instead of using their name, i then name by whatever perversion they are re-enacting in the scene. that way if someone hears about me on the street, they want something, i say "what's your poison?", they tell, i search, i burn, they get, and the world is a more orgasmic place.

all due to the beauty of my organization OCD. gotta go finish renaming files...


Blogger Mike T said...

Wow! And I thought I had issues. Nothing beats the "hate" you have for everyone in the world. Later.

8:38 AM, January 04, 2006  
Blogger themom said...

i hate to tell you - you have inherited the ocd from me!!! i can relate to the coaster issue and others. SORRY!!

12:38 PM, January 04, 2006  

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