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05 January 2006

holy FSU girl and penises

if you haven't seen her, this is the FSU girl. apparently her name is jenn sterger and goes to FSU games all scantily clad and all. lovely. i've seen her on's picture gallery throughout the season, but apparently she showed up prominently during the telecast of the FSU-miami game. how does a college girl get implants like that? granted it is a state school, but come on. i'm going to be paying off my college for another 2-3 years, so i'm putting off my penile implants until then at least. but i guess they help with exposure. probably majoring in communication, criminal justice, AIDS awareness or some such other thing. i'm actually rather jacked that i could've gone to a school like FSU, racked up a whole lot less debt, gotten to stalk girls like her, and still gotten the same job i have now. that sucks, and since i don't believe in re-incarnation, i don't have much to look forward to in the way of "better-luck-next-time". maybe i will get the plastic surgery special... "penile implants and butt implants for the price of one".

that's another thing i was talking about the other day. i'm not sure how to explain it clearly, if anyone can help, please do. but boobs are very important in the eye of society. bigger boobs can help just about any no-talent like pam anderson or jordan make some money and get their face known (no offense, i LOVE jordan and pam's playboy pictures were the first things i downloaded with my college T1 line... like 1 pic per floppy). society loves boobs. for guys, yeah you can look all brad pitt and all, but if a girl gets you in bed and you are a bit lacking in the department, things go bad... they may be polite about it, they may say it's no big deal (it MIGHT actually be no big deal), but down the road, sometime, somewhere, you are going to be a drunken story... i took this guy home one night, we were dancing all over each other, it was great but when we got in bed, teeny weenie. it sucks. breast implants are FAIRLY safe, i'm not saying they are 100%, but the progress made over the years is pretty impressive to come up with safer materials, decrease scarring, etc (sure is helping the porn industry). but the penis is an organ. it has to go up, go down, piss, come, get hard, have a short-day. the penis is dynamic. i mean, i haven't done any research, but i think penile implants would be a bit riskier in the fact that it's just a more complicated device. if you are a girl with low self-esteem or whatever and think bigger boobs would give you a better self-image, the process is fairly simple, the cost is reasonable, sure you will be sore, you will bruise, but it is a fairly safe procedure. for a guy, i just don't think it would be the same. i think a significant portion of a guys' esteem can be based on his wang-a-lang (that and "confidence", grooming, blah, blah, blah). so if a bigger penis would help his self-esteem, i just think it is riskier, and that blows, you only live life one time around and you gotta deal with the shite hand DNA gave ya. it's not fair.

NOTE: of course i'd like a bigger penis, but i think i get by just fine with what i got. i'm no johnny holmes or ron jeremy (too bad just about the rest of me looks like him), but i'm not lilliputian either. just thinking out loud.


Blogger themom said...

i'm really beginning to worry about you!! i know you don't have that much time on your hands, and it amazes me how your mind strays around!! hmmm... DNA, i see where the responsibility lies now!! yeehaw!!

8:11 PM, January 05, 2006  
Blogger swedish chef dave said...


i was reading about penile cancer the other day and it appears that it is very very rare in the western world but india it account for 8-10% of all cancer and if you leave it unitl it is all grown and nasty the only solution is amputation, now that is why all the guys dance together, trying to find who is an amputee and can then be the female

dave with also too much time on his hands

8:41 AM, January 06, 2006  
Blogger ChumpAssFool said...

Apparently you've thought very LONG and HARD about penile implants. I just don't think they'll live up to the Wendy's microphone.

12:36 AM, January 08, 2006  

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