dancing, me? not my fault

i couldn't really think of anything to blog, but then i was reading emma's blog and i realized... i was dancing on saturday at the bar. and like i said, it was not my fault. the only dancing i do is like prom-dancing (back and forth rocking with the hands dropping slowly to the arse), mosh-pitting, i can kinda jump around like a fool to techno/trance/jungle music but that really doesn't take much in the way of talent... oh, yeah, and i can charleston (my most recent showing at red's wedding, kilt and all). i'm not even sure i can do the hokey pokey or the chicken dance. i've been drunk and tried the electric slide only to slowly maneuver my way to the sidelines. i have vivid memories of my mom dragging me onto the dance floor at my babysitter's wedding, and as soon as she lost her grip, i was RUNNING off the floor. it was all cartoon-like with my legs spinning in circles, smoke, and me staying still then rocketing off all at once.

one time in college, one of the smartest people i know, julie, got caught up in the swing dance cults that were popular in the early naughts. she wanted to go to a school organized swing teaching/dance kinda thing, and we got paired up... the poor soul. why i was even there, i have no clue, besides she was cute and smart, but other than that. i don't remember much about that night (i think selective amnesia), but i do recall swinging her into a spin, and knocking her into a light fixture on the wall. i quit very shortly after.

so emma was dancing with the R0 TA (we'll call him rocco, after the porn star), and he's pretty good. they danced a few songs, then they convinced me to dance one song, and this isn't my back and forth rocking dancing, they are spinning and al "one-and-two-and-uh" dancing. no particular dance in particular but still, not so easy. so emma was leading me how to spin her and stuff, how emasculating, but nonetheless fun. we finished our song and i scurried back to my chair (flashbacks of the wedding). so rocco and emma are getting the dancing bug again, they dance like mad again, and i just don't get it how they do it without practicing, but he grabs me and tells me to finish the dance. WTF?! i'm not in the right mindset and definitely wasn't drunk enough. i tried and failed miserably this time. there were mid-dancefloor collisions, failed spins, and i think i even stepped on her feet a time or two. i just wasn't in my zone. i felt bad. but, hey, it wasn't my fault, i protested. then they danced again to "hungry eyes", oh yeah, the indians broke out the "dirty dancing" soundtrack. paul, the mech, danced with her at the end of the night. she was in true hussy form (don't worry, she likes it).

it's just... dancing. i don't get it. i mean, the vagina part of me thinks that leading is kinda rude. what if she doesn't want to be spun right now? i don't know. i think i'd like to learn to dance, but am both shy and get frustrated with incompetence. if i went to a place to learn and fukked up a lot, i'd be so mad at myself for wasting the instructors' time. and i have a bad thing i've only recently learned in the past few years... if someone i know is proficient at something i come to find interesting, i want to try to learn it, but i get really frustrated that they know it better than me. i wanna ask them questions or tips but i feel like an idiot for not knowing it. i might be crazy. and it's the same way with dancing. i didn't know you could freestyle dance. i know there is a lot of ad-libbing in swing and whatnot, but i asked what kinda dance they were doing and they were "just dancing". how does that work? i figured you had to either know waltz or salsa or some zulu convulsion dance, and then if you meet someone, you ask them "hey, do you know how to zulu convulsion dance?" and they'd be all like "yeah, let's go simulate a ganja-induced seizure together". i didn't know you can just GO. i kinda wanna learn, but don't think i'll be able (see previous neuroses). looks like it is useful in getting the chicks, at least in some circles. that might be incentive enough to try to figure something out.

damn me and these shy genes. damn me.