political pix

i went to one site that led me to another that led me to Tumble Dumble. from Tumble Dumble, i found the two following pictures that i thought were fantastic.

BULLSEYE, muthfucka!

see more Funny Graphs

this graph say it all. granted, it's not scientific (it may be, but i'm not verifying the numbers), but from everything i HAVE heard it is relativistically right, that is, there are far more NORMAL flu deaths annually, than there have been SWINE flu deaths since it came out. get over it!

when is terrorism not, AND when it's your time, it's your time?

two articles i've come across lately that have piqued my interest enough to get me to read them. the first, here, has to do with how americans label terrorism. it is a sad and blatantly racist judgment made by the american people. in short, when is terrorism not? when it's done by a white christian, that's when, or at least, that can be strongly inferred when comparing the two recent cases in this article. please give it a read and let me know what you think.

and here is just a a strange coincidence straight out of "final destination". it's sad that after having missed a huge catastrophe, she probably felt like she got a new lease on life, only to find out each day has it's own dangers.

biblical observations III : samson was CRAZY pussy-whipped (and possibly severely mentally retarded)

i'm back into reading the bible since i'm out of books. i'm just about to finish JUDGES when i come across samson. i didn't realize that samson was actually a king of israel. well, that might not be technically correct but i'm not exactly sure what he was judging since israel was being oppressed but all the neighbors at this time (and that is another observation post). so i'll call him a king, of sorts, a leader, and he did that for 20 years.

the story starts that his mother was barren, but an angel came to her and said she would conceive, but the boy had to be raised a nazirite (that just looks so much like nazi to me, but that's not a funny joke since we are dealing with the jewish people here). nazarites weren't allowed to cut their hair, they weren't allowed to drink alcohol, and they were supposed to avoid the dead and places of the dead. in short, he was a strong mother fucker. he's the equivalent of hercules from greek mythology.

STORY #1 that proves he's a crazy badass, completely fukking pussy-whipped, and soft in the head (note: all quotes are paraphrased):

one day, he's walking through the woods on his way to hit on this philistine chick he was diggin' on when a lion comes up to him. the force was strong in this one, so he tore the lion a new one bare-handed without even breaking a sweat. apparently he did the biblical equivalent of getting her digits AND getting her to accept his marriage proposal in not time and went home. a while later, he was walking back to pick up his wife, when he walked past the lion he had disemboweled and found a bee hive growing in the thing, so he grabbed some honey and went to his wife. when he got to her town, there were 30 dudes hanging out waiting for the 7 day wedding feast to start and end. samson posited to them a riddle to solve in 7 days. if they got it right, he'd give them 30 new linens and 30 changes of clothes; if they didn't, they had to give HIM 30 linens and changes of clothes. the riddle was:

out of the eater came something eat
out of the strong came something sweet.

since you know the backstory, you might be able to guess the answer.

well, the mob pulls his wife aside and threatens to burn down her house like in a WWE studios / john cena movie if she doesn't get the answer for him, so true to a typical wife (i can say this because i'm not married, hah), she nagged the ever-lovin' shit out of him for the answer even though his mom and dad don't even know. on day seven, she tells the mob "nothing sweeter than honey, nothing stronger than a lion", they regurgitate it back to him, and he goes postal. he knows the got the answer from his trollop wife, so true to his word, he retaliated by giving them their 30 linens and changes of clothes... by killing 30 of their bestest buds and giving the mob THEIR clothes, then he stomped back to his house.

it gets worse. after a while, maybe a few weeks or months, he goes down to her dad's house and tells him "i'll show her, i'm gonna lay some pipe on my wife ans show her she screwed up". her dad's kinda like "um... we're sorry, but we didn't think you lied her so we decided to give her to your best man. wouldn't you like her younger sister better?" BURN!!! re-retaliation. if samson wasn't rip-shit pissed already, when he found out he wasn't getting any tail, that was it. he went out and captured 300 foxes, tied their tails together with a torch in the knot, and set them free in the philistine fields (if anyone's counting, this is retaliation 3, R3). when the philistines found out samson had done this, they (you guessed it) retaliated (R4) by burning down his wife and father-in-law's house. samson said "ok, mofo's, i'm getting tired of this back and forth, so i'm just going to get even ONE MORE TIME, then i'm done... we're even... OK?", then he whopped some major philistine ass (R5).

that wasn't good enough for the philistines, so they came to arrest him and take him back for judgment. he said, if you promise not to kill me until we get there, i'll let you tie me up. they promised, they tied, they went to philistine central. when he got there, everyone started yelling at him, and he got all pissed off hulk-style, so he grabbed the jawbone of a donkey and smote the shit out of 1000 philistines. afterward, he yelled into the sky, "this... is... JAWBOOOOOOOONE (heights)!", and "judged" for 20 years.

the FAMOUS story that proves he's a crazy badass, completely fukking pussy-whipped, and soft in the head (note: all quotes are paraphrased):

so toward the end of his 20 years judging, he took a vacation to gaza and banged a lady of the night. while he was there, the gazites decided they'd kill him in the morning when the sun came up. instead, at midnight, to show the gazites he was still "israel's strongest man", he ripped the gate of the city (along with the posts) out of the ground and took them up on a hill. i'm not exactly sure how this made them not kill him, except that maybe they were all still washing the shit out of their pants the next morning.

then samson met delilah. this is like the biblical version of forrest gump. samson is forrest: this soft-headed, i-love-the-first-girl-i-meet kinda guy, and delilah is like jenny: she's all "well, you're nice, but you're kind of a dope, i mean, i'll kiss ya, but i got other things to do", so the locals lords offered her some mad amounts of silver to find out his weakness. she's all about movin' on up to the east-side, so she takes the deal and starts pillow-talking samson. here's where we confirm both massive pussy-whippedness and never-before-seen brain damage.

DELILAH: so what IS your weakness?
SAMSON: 7 fresh bowstrings, not yet dried, and i'm bruce banner.
(delilah ties him up in 7 wet bowstrings that night, the philistines wait in his room)
DELILAH:SAMSON, THE PHILISTINES ARE HERE!!!
(samson tears through the bowstrings like thread, no philistine attack)
DELILAH: baby (maybe a bewb pops out), so REALLY, what IS your weakness?
SAMSON: new rope that has never been used, and i'm like superman and green kryptonite.
(delilah ties him up with brand new rope that night, the philistines wait in his room)
DELILAH:SAMSON, THE PHILISTINES ARE HERE!!!
(samson tears through the rope like it was smoke, no philistine attack)
DELILAH: (while putting on some BANGIN' frederick's of hollywood lingerie) samson, why do you mock me, i'm JUST curious, what IS your weakness?
SAMSON: new rope that has never been used, and shorty, i'm like superman around green kryptonite.
(delilah ties him up with brand new rope that night, the philistines wait in his room)
DELILAH:SAMSON, THE PHILISTINES ARE HERE!!!
(samson tears through the rope like it was smoke, no philistine attack)
DELILAH: (grabbin' his circumsized johnson), you're starting to PISS ME OFF! i'm just worried about you. baby...what IS your weakness?
SAMSON: if you weave my seven dreadlocks into the loom, i'm like rainbow brite on xanax.
(delilah weaves his frickin' HEAD in to a LOOM, and he doesn't wake up; btw, not drunk, can't drink alcohol... anyways, the philistines are still chillin' in his room)
DELILAH:SAMSON, THE PHILISTINES ARE HERE!!!
(samson gets up turning the loom into a pile of matchsticks... WTF happened, babe?, no philistine attack)
DELILAH: (promising something like BJs everyday for life) samson, this is the best deal your going to get. just tell me your weakness, and i'll get right on my knees... big daddy, what IS your weakness?
SAMSON: (tired of her bitching) GOOD GOD WOMAN (SORRY BIG GUY!) WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM? I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU ARE ALL UP IN MY BIZZLE, AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY! MY HAIR, IT'S MY HAIR. YOU CUT MY HAIR, AND THAT SCREECH KID FROM "SAVED BY THE BELL" COULD HAND MY OWN ASS TO ME, OKAY?! so there, now... get to it, sugarlips.
(delilah "lulls him to sleep on her knees"... it actually says that in the bible, then brings in the town barber and give him the first bowl-cut in the old testament, the philistines wait in his room)
DELILAH:SAMSON, THE PHILISTINES ARE HERE!!!
(well he wakes up a bit woozy, as close to a hangover as possible without drinking, and the philistines make their move. they whomped on him pretty good, poked out his eyes and made him the prison wheat grinder)

he didn't see THAT coming, come on! it's like every joke ever told. three guys walk into a bar, or a guy tried something three times... moron, still, he gets them in the end. they are all so drunk on the fact that they caught this one guy who bitch-slapped an entire battalion of them with the remains of a carcass, that they order a party with ALL the philistine lords and lordettes (about 3000 of them) to watch him do some pratfalls and slapstick for them. he does a little song-and-dance then asks for someone to help him to the central pillars to catch his breath. he pulled a popeye and opened a can of god-spinach, "bringing down the roof" by knocking over the main structural pillars, thus killing all of the philistines along with himself.

rock on, samson, you idiot!

for the actual text, you can go here. it's funny, i was trying to give the cliff's notes, but ended up making it longer. the original passages is only 19 verses). hope you like the re-enactment. i apologize that delilah was such a hussy, but that's the way it was (in my head).

the alpha (and the omega)

poignant AIDS awareness ad (kinda NSFW)

fitna

i downloaded 'fitna', the controversial movie about islam written by a dutch politician, geert wilders. it's 16 minutes long, and it's easy to say that it is nothing more than a sensationalist propaganda movie. in this short film, he "highlights" 5 verses from various surahs (chapters) in the qur'an whose english translation lend them toward violence against non-muslims. i think the geert wilders, along with many others in the western world, is plainly muslim-phobic. the old testament bible speaks of similar actions, to rise up against those who don't believe in the christian god. i won't go too far into that because i've not yet read enough of the bible to not saying something stupid. that is why i'm reading the bible AND qur'an now, to learn about what christianity and islam REALLY stand for, instead of what people THINK they stand for.

i'm living in a muslim country, and i'm not afraid. these people aren't aiming to hurt westerners. there is no jihad. they are people, same as me: going to work, eating, having fun, living. no muslims here have tried to convert me. i've tried to engage in intelligent conversations about their religion because i know very little about it and am interested in learning more, but these conversations are typically fruitless, not because of ignorance, but due more to the language barrier. this movie shows one extreme of the muslim religion, the fundamentalists, the radicals. they are the minority that we know of because they make headlines. since those are the only way we know of islam, it's generalized that all muslims must be this way. christianity has this same type of fanaticism with our pat robertson's and jerry falwell's, the westboro baptist church. i would truly like to see a reciprocal movie made about these fundamentalist christians. both movies would be skewed in the manner that IS the definition of propaganda, but then watch the christians defend themselves with "we're not ALL like that" arguments that i fear they wouldn't find applicable to the muslims. people are hard-wired into an "us vs. them" mentality: family vs. strangers, lovers vs. friends, protestant vs. catholic. it's a dangerous and hurtful thing that we need to consciously try to change.

wilders believes he made a movie to open the eyes of the world to islam, where he only promotes the same hate that he fears they have for him (and i'm sure, even the peace-loving muslims are offended now). he's carelessly poured salt in an already excruciating wound, all based on ignorance and fear. i hope i'm not coming off as too new-agey, but we're all people on the same planet trying to be as happy as possible and make babies so they can be happy someday. i'm hoping that people who see this movie don't take it as a documentary on the muslim culture. still, i'm afraid too many will.

you can DL it from this site if you haven't seen it, and go here (yeah i know it's wikipedia, and this is a hot topic so beware graffiti) to read more about it. let me know what you think.

blood runs red on the highway

the past few days have been weird. two stories i have that i didn't see happen directly, but saw the result of one. neither of them are very happy stories.

<story 1> (i heard this second hand from an italian who's english isn't perfect so there may be some inconsistencies): our labor contractor is led by an office of italians. TheHeadItalian was leaving site to go to cairo for a meeting when a commotion happened at the tollgate just down the road. i don't know the exact details of the commotion other than it involved armed police, possibly armed and drug-possessing bedouins, and TheHeadItalian's car. from what i could gather, there were two trucks of bedouins that came out of the desert and tried to cross the tollgate without papers. the police were coincidentally at the toll gate, i'm not sure if they were tracking them, and they kind of came together at the same time as TheHeadItalian was going through the tolls. the police pulled guns and tried to stop the bedouins, the bedouins were kind of pinned in between the tool booths, so the backed into TheHeadItalian's car, trying to escape. the police couldn't fire because TheHeadItalian was in the crossfire. since the bedouins couldn't get past, they ended up surrendering. it is rumored the police DID find drugs and automatic weapons with the bedouins. craziness! all right outside my plant.</story 1>

<story 2>this one isn't very happy either. we left this morning from the apartment at our usual time of 6:00AM. the drive is usually just about an hour going 100+ mph most of the way. i pop in my headphones and doze most of the trip, it's easier on the heart. today, we had fog. we've had a bit of fog for the past week or two, but today, it was THICK!!! i'm talking MAYBE six feet visibility. definitely not 100 mph weather. so we got on the highway, same ol', same ol', and made it about 30-40 minutes into our drive when the fog got thicker still, and we saw 6-7 people waving frantically for us to stop. we slowed down and saw that our colleagues' car had already stopped, so we pulled to the shoulder. the same 7 or so people were stopping all the cars behind us. we stepped out into the chill foggy morning to see what was going on. if anyone has seen "the mist" recently... it was like that. you didn't dare step too far from anyone else or you might lose sight of them totally.

our egyptian drivers translated to us that there was a very bad wreck up ahead in the fog. we were tempted to walk ahead, but were advised against it. we waited for a while, maybe 20 or 30 minutes, then word came we could go ahead. i figured it couldn't be that bad of an accident if that's all it took. we got into the cars and pulled away into the still peasoup-thick fog. we only made it maybe 100 yards before we were stopped again, and now we could see one of the vehicles. straddling the left lane of the highway (3 lanes in each direction) was a delivery truck, the entire front end smashed in, but again, that was all we could see. we got out and talked and contemplated looking ahead as loads of egyptians were walking ahead to see the damage. we wanted to rubberneck as well but we were advised against it by our onsite safety guy who was traveling along the same road at the same time as we were. some semi's and micro-buses tried to weave their way through but were stopped once they reached the wreckage. there were semi's, pickup trucks, and delivery vans scattered across all lanes of the highway ahead.

the safety guy was trying to arrange for a micro bus to pick us up on the other side of the highway and take us back to ma'adi, while TheSiteLead took a walk ahead on the shoulder to scope out the situation. upon his return, he'd decided that since we had 4WD SUVs, we would drive them 10 yards towards the center shoulder where the sand was firm, and we could drive around the carnage, and carnage it was. we got in the vehicles and made our way around the wreck. due to the thick fog and having to help direct our driver on how to drive in sand, i wasn't able to get a great look at the wreck, but what i did see wasn't pretty. one semi carrying gravel turned over onto a bus, one semi carrying bricks jack-knifed with the cab smashed in, several pickups battered to hell and back, another cargo semi on it's side blocking the entire road, and i saw several bodies covered in sheets. we got about 50 yards along the wreck when we came to a semi that had plowed into the center median so we had to cut back toward the road between that truck and another wrecked one in the left lane. once, we got around that, we were on our way, open highway all the way to work. we heard before we left that there were as many as 20 dead in the accident. it was awful in the fog alone, now that the fog has burnt off, i'm sure the site is even more gruesome. i didn't have my camera, so these pictures are from TheElectrical's camera phone. these are typical of the fog we encountered, and the last one is by far, the vehicle in the best shape of any of them.</story 2>

i'm going to hurghada for the arabic weekend (thursday/friday), it's on the red sea. we got hooked up with an excellent all-inclusive resort for $125/night. heading out at lunch. i need something nice to take my mind off this morning.

UPDATE: 25 people died according to the local paper.

sorry i've been slacking

i got home from trinidad on the 10th. on the 13th, i went to T's wedding and had a GREAT time. it was a lovely ceremony, nobody screwed up besides T reciting his vows to the priest instead of erin, but i'll let him off, he was nervous. at the reception, chumpass had to go home, his mom had come home from columbus hospital that day, and she was going to have to go to the local hospital. a few short days later on chmumpass's 30th birthday, she was gone. i can't say it any better than TheMom has in her post. it was a tragedy. chumpass's family has been dealing, as have we, all her friends and extended family. the past week has been filled with pre-wake's, pre-pre-wake's, the funeral, the graveside ceremony, the wake, and post-wake. we've been busy, and yet it still feels like nothing really got done. chumpass knows i'm there for him and his family if they need me, no matter where i am (on my way to windsor, canada tomorrow for three weeks). only a phone call away. i'll try to catch up there. until then, keep chumpass and his family in your thoughts.

we are all bugs (part 1)

ok, i'm going to let you follow me through this. this is my stream of consciousness, and it is turbulent. just in case it doesn't work, you'll see the work i went through...

1. i look up the circumference of the earth at it's largest (it spins, so there is centripetal force; therefore, at the equator):
   
   24,901.55 miles



2. i divide this by 2 (since the furthest you can SEE is halfway round the world, and i convert this into millimeters for ease of use (i hate metric but (1) i don't know if americans can REALLY fathom anything smaller than an inch and (2) metric makes so much more sense... it's decimals kids!!!


20,037,580,000 millimeters (that's 20 BILLION, 37 MILLION, 580 THOUSAND, 000 millimeters

or 210,367,873.2267 flaccid penises for you curious folk out there (courtesy of weirdconverter.com


3. i look up the average size of a virus [rhinovirus in this case (the common cold)]:
   
   from the best i can tell it is 20 nanometers, so we'll go with .00002mm for arguments' sake.



4. then i search for the distance to the nearest star:
   
   4.37 light years (converted that is 4.134251x10^19mm or 9,804,959,294,158 marathons...that's for my web-buddy, Rich|Championable (though he may not want to be associated with me anymore)



5. now i find the average height of a human being:
   
   1650mm seems to be the average for humans, globally, both male and female, from the 5 seconds of google.com data i scoured through.

so, from that exercise, we've determined that:

1. dividing 2 by 3, we get that the farthest away one cold virus can be from another is 1,001,879,000,000,000 units



2. dividing 4 by 5, we see that the we are in proximity to the nearest STAR by
   
   25,056,066,666,666,666 units

that's only 25 to 1.

AND that is slightly intoxicated math. could be worse or better. what i'm saying is, is that we're not so far away from the stars as we think. if i went into how far away the nucleus (neutrons/electrons) is from the electrons, my numbers would blow your mind. we are a big world, and a monstrously huge universe... but it's all scale, and scale can be reduced to relativity. we aren't so far away from anything we might strive for. don't let anything convince you otherwise...

and TOMORROW, i'll tell you why we are bugs. you might think it is depressing... but really, if you THINK about it, it's so amazingly hopeful. i can't wait but since i got distracted by math (i'm not a normal man, they go home, sleep, drink, take a lady back and make love, watch SportsCenter), i'll have to do it later. maybe i'll do atomic relations tomorrow. thinking of that... i'll probably be single forever. now THAT is an awful thought, though rigorously proven.

thanks for tuning in.

2:00AM +

it's 2:15AM, and i can't sleep. i seem to get crazy insomnia when i'm single. not sure why, not like i can sleep next to my girlfriend all the time, but knowing that i have one, i guess, puts my mind at ease.

i had a good time with the BTBz this weekend, and as usual, i'm kinda lonely now. no one to really talk to, hang out with, distract myself with. TheMom and i went out to see transformers, and i found it to be really good. i was impressed.

i sat outside for a bit, looked at the stars. they are my kindred. i get so overwhelmed. what is the minimum amount of photons necessary for the eye to register light (the best i can find is about 7 photons)? so i need at least 7 photons to hit my eye for me to even register a little star. but EVERYONE on earth can see that star, so that's an amazing amount of photons hitting the earth for this TINY little star (at least from our distance, it looks tiny), and we are only in a few arc-seconds of it's path. it is radiating spherically expanding throughout the entire universe. how much energy that must be? photons dissipate (i believe) at the square of the distance from the source. for example, if there are 16 photons at the source, there might be 4 only one meter away, and 2 at two meters away. if i need 7 photons just to register a flash (we'll assume 25 for a flickering star), that means halfway between here and there (many hundreds of light years), there are at least 625 photons... halve that distance and you have on the order of 360,000 photons (and you are still hundreds of light years away). the numbers involved in space are mind-boggling... but for some reason, i find a sense of peace in them. we are so small, so insignificant in the order of the universe, but we try to find a way, a path to this thing we invented called "happiness". we try so hard, and in a blink **POOF**, we'll be gone, humans as a whole, and no one will know any better. despite that bleak future, we strive on. we smile, we play, we love, and make love, we buy and sell, procreate. we do what we have to do to pass the time.

i'm not a normal man. this inevitability, the insignificance calms me. it gives me a reason, that no matter how unimportant we are, we only have a short time to play with, so short that if there are other life-forms out there (there must be), odds are they'll never know we existed. in that time, we have to experience all we can of this precious thing called life. we have to do what we can to be happy. this vaguely came back to my current situation. sometimes, what makes you happy isn't for someone else. that's tough to deal with on a personal level, it hurts, but universally, time is so short, that can't be worried about. pain is even more fleeting than our existence.

i know that was a bit of a loosely organized, wild-eyed stream of consciousness rant. i apologize, maybe i'll try to structure it a bit more later. i think there was more i wanted to say in there, maybe i already did, and can't see it.

the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had

this has to be one of the saddest (but still amazing) songs i've ever heard, and you know me... guess what i'm listening to. actually i just stumbled on the video (which i've never seen). the song is from the donnie darko soundtrack, a strangely great movie.

it's just a movie

do you know the movie "leaving las vegas"? i do... i like it. it kinda speaks to me, and that's sad. don't worry, i won't, though i don't mind practicing.



i want to learn to dance, for her. it would be so fun, and so... easy. 143.

bird + jet engine = mythbusters

i was arriving at this airport just about 96 hours before this happened. fancy.

they will be missed

RIP anna nicole smith

RIP benny parsons

click photo for NASCAR link
1941 - 2007

biblical observations II: god LOVES to barbecue especially in july

i'm back again with another bible post (see my first here). why? because the bible is funny. also, i like math and since i'm STILL reading to book, Numbers (i remind you, this is my bathroom reading), there are some numbers i think are interesting. this post related to the burnt offerings. i'm not sure of the best way to format this, so i'll just go with my gut. oh yeah, be prepared... this is going to get long, but stay with it. you don't have to read the details of everything, but i'm gonna tally everything up at the end and convert it into REAL units. THAT will be interesting.

but first some notes and clarifications. all this data comes from Numbers 29-30. for some reason, the biblical people didn't know how to reduce fractions, so often times you see things like 2/10 of a such-and-such. also, the ephah is not precisely known. depending on the text, it varies from 5-9 gallons (dry), but we will be conservative and use 5 gallons per ephah. 1 hin = 1 gallon, and all sacrifices should be animals in their first year and with no blemishes. i have to make an assumption as the oil and wine offerings aren't explicit in anything past the daily offer, so i'll assume for every 1/10 ephah of flour, they mix 1/4 hin of oil and 1/4 hin of wine is alotted per lamb unless otherwise explicitly stated in the text. i also noted that god likes to barbecue on july.

for those of you who don't want the details, just the breakdown, click here to go the the analysis.

(A) the daily offering

• 2 lambs
• 2/10 ephah of flour
• 2/4 hin of fine pressed oil
• 1/2 hin of wine (1/4 hin per lamb)

(B) the sabbath offering

• 2 lambs
• 2/10 ephah flour
• 1/2 hin oil
• 1/2 hin wine

(C) the monthly offering

• 2 bulls
• 1 ram
• 7 lambs
• 1 goat
• 6/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 2/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• and 7/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 6/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 2/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 7/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 1 hin of wine for the bulls
• 1/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 7/4 hin of wine for the lambs

(D) feast of weeks (the first harvest)

• 2 bulls
• 1 ram
• 7 lambs
• 1 goat
• 6/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 2/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 7/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 6/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 2/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 7/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 1 hin of wine for the bulls
• 1/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 7/4 hin of wine for the lambs

(E) feast of trumpets (1 july)

• 1 bull
• 1 ram
• 7 lambs
• 1 goat
• 3/10 ephah of flour for the bull
• 2/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 7/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 6/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 2/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 7/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 1/2 hin of wine for the bulls
• 1/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 7/4 hin of wine for the lambs

(F) passover (14 january for 7 days)

• 2 bulls
• 1 ram
• 7 lambs
• 1 goat
• 6/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 2/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 7/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 6/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 2/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 7/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 1 hin of wine for the bulls
• 1/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 7/4 hin of wine for the lambs

(G) day of atonement (10 july)

• 1 bull
• 1 ram
• 7 lambs
• 1 goat
• 3/10 ephah of flour for the bull
• 2/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 7/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 6/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 2/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 7/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 7/4 hin of wine for the lambs

(H) feast of the tabernacle (15 july for 8 days)
day 1:

• 13 bulls
• 2 rams
• 14 lambs
• 1 goat
• 39/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 4/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 14/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 78/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 4/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 14/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 13/2 hin of wine for the bulls
• 2/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 14/4 hin of wine for the lambs

day 2:

• 12 bulls
• 2 rams
• 14 lambs
• 1 goat
• 36/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 4/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 14/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 72/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 4/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 14/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 12/2 hin of wine for the bulls
• 2/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 14/4 hin of wine for the lambs

day 3:

• 11 bulls
• 2 rams
• 14 lambs
• 1 goat
• 33/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 4/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 14/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 66/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 4/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 14/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 11/2 hin of wine for the bulls
• 2/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 14/4 hin of wine for the lambs

day 4:

• 10 bulls
• 2 rams
• 14 lambs
• 1 goat
• 30/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 4/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 14/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 60/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 4/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 14/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 10/2 hin of wine for the bulls
• 2/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 14/4 hin of wine for the lambs

day 5:

• 9 bulls
• 2 rams
• 14 lambs
• 1 goat
• 27/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 4/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 14/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 54/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 4/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 14/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 9/2 hin of wine for the bulls
• 2/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 14/4 hin of wine for the lambs

day 6:

• 8 bulls
• 2 rams
• 14 lambs
• 1 goat
• 24/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 4/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 14/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 48/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 4/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 14/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 8/2 hin of wine for the bulls
• 2/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 14/4 hin of wine for the lambs

day 7:

• 7 bulls
• 2 rams
• 14 lambs
• 1 goat
• 21/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 4/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 14/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 42/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 4/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 14/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 7/2 hin of wine for the bulls
• 2/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 14/4 hin of wine for the lambs

day 8:

• 1 bull
• 1 ram
• 7 lambs
• 1 goat
• 3/10 ephah of flour for the bulls
• 2/10 ephah of flour for the ram
• 7/10 ephah of flour for the lambs
• 3/4 hin of oil for the bulls
• 2/4 hin of oil for the ram
• 7/4 hin of oil for the lambs
• 1/2 hin of wine for the bulls
• 1/3 hin of wine for the ram
• 7/4 hin of wine for the lambs

and now for the math. we are told that no matter if it is a special holiday or whatnot, you always do your standard sacrifices (daily, sabbath, monthly) in conjunction with any special holiday (feast of week, passover, etc.), so the equation to determine how many sacrificed were made in a year is fairly simple:
365A + 52B + 12C + D + E + 7F + G + ΣH
(Σ being the symbol for summation since H varies with time).

this turns out to be an ASTOUNDING amount of WASTED meat, wine, oil, and flour that could've been given to the ethiopians.

final annual tally:

• 113 bulls
• 37 rams
• 1093 lambs
• 30 goats
• 150.60 gallons (dry) of flour
• 376.50 gallons (wet) of oil
• 341.96 gallons (wet) of wine

now what is that in real life terms? bull and lamb stats from here and here.

assuming you get 500 lbs (8000 oz) of meat from a 1200 lb bull, and a typical portion is 10 ounces, that is 800 steaks/bull multiplied by 113 bulls in a year, so that's 90,400 steaks in a year. 3 steaks a day means ~30,000 people fed for a year from the cows alone.

for the lambs, we'll assume 60 lbs (960 oz) per lamb times 1093 lambs, 10 oz lambsteaks = 104928 steaks, and that is another nearly 35,000 people fed for a year.

i found some sketchy stats on meat goats and estimated about 38 lbs/goat. 30 goats is 13,440 oz = 1344 steaks, so about 550 fed for a year on goats.

i can't find stats on rams, so bear with me. i'll have to estimate they are bigger than lambs but probably more sinew and gristle, so i'll say you get the same amount of meat. i think i'm erring low on this, but it works. so 960 oz * 37 rams / 10 oz steaks / 3 meals per day = 1184 people fed for a year.

i'm not even going into the wine, oil and flour. those are side dishes. and i'm guessing vegetarians were few and far between back then (again i could be wrong).

so for their god, israel sacrificed enough food to feed almost 67,000 people FOR A WHOLE YEAR. but hey, when your god likes the smell of a barbecue, you bring out the grill.

if you wanna see the details, go here. thanks for your time, hope you like the analysis.